Directive Statements (You should…, Change this. Do that.)
Relating to the writer
Discussing my own writing
Level 1 Concerns (Audience, Purpose, Content, Ideas)
Level 2 Concerns (Thesis, Organization/ Structure)
Level 3 Concerns (Expression, Word Choice, Formatting)
Level 4 Concerns (Proofreading, Editing)
Aaron what a great idea! I bet the residents of the nursing home just adored you! I have had my fair share of nursing home visits, but it was a little different for me. My mom happened to work at one called Britthaven and although some of the residents were rude, mean, and senial, I really enjoyed keeping them company. Doing things for others is a great way to make relationships and change other’s lives! I like how you chose to speak along with your pictures your voice sounds projected and deep. You even went above and beyond expectations for your senior project, and I bet you made so many people feel loved and happy! Great job!
Cody, I admire you for speaking your beliefs on such a touchy topic to our higher officials. You seem to know quite a bit about the legalization and I didnt even know it was amendment 420! I know people always try to avoid the subject because not everyone is informed enough about the medical aspects. I agree with you that marijuana helps heal people. I have a friend with a child who has heart problems and unexpected seisures and she has been everywhere for help, yet nothing worked. She was tired of all of the failures so she moved out west and got her child medical marijuana. He is now seven years old and hasnt had a seisure in over a year. You provided some great examples and I believe eventually medical marijuana will be a problem solver to many people in the future! Great post, keep up the good work!
Lily your project made me tear up! I am an animal lover just like you and I also worked for a Humane Society for my senior project and I loved it. Even though it is a sad subject, you have started something amazing. I respect that you organized your own fundraiser and even made your own logo! That’s impressive, but you are quite the artist! Your presentation looks great and is very inspiring, if I didnt have so many animals myself I would adopt more! That music though, it always gets me!!
Mary Margaret Lyle creating this visual was a great way to really draw in listeners. Having this along with your essay will really show others how serious you are about your project. You had great pronounciation and the video seemed well rehearsed! You had nice posture and did not fidget or wiggle to cause distraction. I hope you continue to keep up with your assignments and build a great project. Let me know if you need any help or suggestions! Keep up the good work!
To do lists are a great way to stay caught up and organized. I create them all the time just incase I forgot to add something to the previous list. I like how you parenthesized the extra details for extra little reminders. I encourage you to continue making them for when your project date arrives because it will be a very helpful assest when dates and start filling up!
This poem seems to have alot of meaning behind its words. I like the way you were specific and gave examples about how the poem had several meanings. You’re punctuation seems to be well practiced and you chose great words for describing. I encourage you to continue posting and reading comments because one, they are good for encouragement, and two, you can obtain some resourceful feedback that will help improve your overall project ideasy busy, important day. Keep up the good work and stay on time!!
Ashlynn, you chose a great topic to talk about. Although my school has dress code, it has never been that serious. I can only imagine the fustration and aggravation your dress code caused. I liked how you connected dress code to donating clothes to the less fortunate. Do you think your school will change? Do you think you could help change that? I know money can be an issue, but it is different in highschool. Teens enjoy fashion and want to look stylish while others may not be able to afford such nice clothes. Is that fair? There is a great organization that deals with donations called, The Salvation Army, and they would be of much help with providing clothes and jackets. It would be different if you were still in highschool, but you could still help to change those regulations. I know if i had to wear uniform I would not be happy! Style can show character and taste, and you can make it your own!
Shannon, what a heartfelt story. I can only imagine how scared i would have been at six years old to find out that i had skin cancer. Skin cancer can be very serious and scary. My mom used to bake her skin when she was younger. She always applied baby oil and tanning oil and it finally got the best of her. She went for a check up and had several raised areas of skin, so she had to go to the dermatologist. Come to find out she had three spots of skin cancers, and one was on her neck. Her scar is very noticeable and she hates it so much. She always threatens us if we dont use sunscreen, which is understandable. Im glad everything turned out ok for you! You are very courageous and obviously a strong fighter. I dont know how you could have stood the stitches and needles used for scraping. My oldest sister had a mole removed from her back and I wanted to see how they did it, so i watched them scrape it out and it looked horrifying! Scars from those types of surgieries seem to stick around for awhile. Thank you for sharing your story, you never know if someone else could be in the same boat as you.
Lily, I wasnt expecting politics as your topic, but i think youd be the best candidate to do so. Politics can be a very touchy subject as well as demanding. I know when people talk about politics I normally walk away, some people get to carried away with it. Its funny how our parents views will ect us and normally most kids will follow their beliefs. Im with you, I have my own beliefs different from my parents. Who is your audience? Who would you interview? I think your project will be alot of hardwork, but youll do a great job.
PEEK! What a great idea to do your project on something that doesnt want to be talked about, but it is definately a problem! I feel that even though we are college students it is always a good idea to remind those who are sexually active about how to be safe. Its scary to think about how many people have STD’s and you wouldnt even know! The qusetions you asked were on point and right on topic. Student Health could definately help you out as well as the hospital. Chosing ECU students as your audience couldnt be any wiser. We all know we like to party and have a good time, but safety always comes first!!
Blayne, you chose a topic that is extremely important in todays society. Drinking and driving is a very scary topic as well. From the statistics i have read, most drinking and driving can be fatal. I like your idea of constructing research to try and calm the situation that all college students, community members, and any one around the world may face. Are you thinking of making a club? Or is there a club already made on campus? How would you present your information to help others? I know that regardless of any statistics or punishments, college students will continue to drink. Aiding in a transportation that matches the time frames students party could potentially be a great investment. You could talk to transportation services and rally your information to try and make our environment more safe. I would definately stand by your side!
Aaron, your opening sentence was on point. You had a nice suspense builder when you talked in detail about all the items you chunked at your brother. I could not wait to read what you threw at him. Good thing you did not get him in the eye or something, it could have been much worse. Having three sisters I know the aggravation and fustration they can put on me and I would gladly chunk a hair brush or water bottle to get my point accross. The structure of your story was good, you had a lot of detail and diversity of words. I enjoyed reading your piece because it reminds me of my siblings and times where we would do something wrong and we did exactly as you, HIDE!! You also had some great transition words, and no run on sentences. The fact that your favorite show was “The Price is Right” is funny because whenever we had babysitters, that is what we normally watched. The flow of your story was great! As I was reading, the words in every sentence seemed to workout in your favor. It was very smooth reading. I could definately decyfer the tone of your story.
Lani, I could picture all of that in my head and it seems like it was horrifying. Everytime a kid gets hurt it seem to be initial instict to try and fix yourself first rather than telling an adult. I remember doing this alot when i was younger. Your story had great detail i followed it very well. The way you described each step from your leg getting punctured to ending up in the emergency room was very fluent. You had great transition words and i could read everything smoothly. Its very unfortunate that this happened to you, but accidents happen all the time and I am glad your ok. Maybe you could have added a little more elaboration such as, the feelings you were having when it happened, when you told your mom, and at the hospital. What did your mom say when it happened and what about your sister? I cant imagine pulling out a piece of wood from my leg! That takes some guts to do that. Its amazing you didnt have to get stitches and that your open wound didnt get infected. That’s a miracle! Its funny as kids what we think of doing for fun could end up hurting us. I know your parents were probably wondering why you chose to jump on a pile of wood. This was a great story and a great example of what not to do.